If Only

July 10, 2013 in Business

Have you ever had a problem you just couldn’t change?  You know what I’m talking about; stuff like that extra twenty pounds you just can’t seem to keep off or credit card debt that never goes away or a relationship that makes you feel devastated every time you think of it.

For me it was chronic financial stress.  I was constantly worried and focused on money and having enough just to pay for the basics.  I felt a level of anxiety every time I opened my checkbook. I was caught up in the idea that “if only” I could make a certain amount of income, everything in my life would become easier and I then I could be happy.

  • Making money and financial security became my focus, my idol.
  • Money became  my source for the peace and joy I was seeking.
  • I realized I made money and financial security my source instead of God

An idol is a construct or focus you pour energy into because you believe it is a source for what you want: identity, power, love, money, peace, relationships, etc.

Idols separate you from direct, divine connection to God.

The only way to heal any problem is from knowing your divine source.

Because I am loved, valued and worthy, I can heal.

Problems that don’t heal: money problems, chronic dieting, chronic relationship distress, depression and chronic physical problems are very likely a form of idolatry.  You pour loads of energy and attention into a problem in the hope that solving the problem will make you more worthy, more loved, more acceptable.

All your energy and power is poured into this “problem” that never seems to resolve.  It is like a huge tornado that just spins all your excess effort and energy around in a circle, never really moving forward or changing.

It is an idol when it becomes the source to get you what you really want rather than God as the source.

Forgiveness statements:

  • I forgive myself for idolizing money as my source for all I desire.
  • I forgive myself for idolizing what I have (family, house, etc) as the source of my happiness and fulfillment.
  • I forgive myself for idolizing all that I do not have or all that I see others possess as the source of my happiness and fulfillment.
  • I give myself permission to tear down this idol to money and I am no longer separated from all the love, value and worthiness I ever wanted.  It’s already mine.
  • I forgive myself for using this idolatry of family as a source to heal depression and fear that I will never get what I really want in my relationships.
  • I give myself permission to tear down this idol,  and I am free to stop pouring excess energy into an empty tornado of futile discussion and thoughts.
  • Without this idol I am no longer separated from God.

Discover the idols in your life with the phrase, “If only. . . .”

  • I had more money. . . .I would be important and valued
  • I had a better body and was prettier. . . . . .others would love me
  • My marriage was perfect. . . .I could love and accept myself
Please post your comments about the idols you have torn down in your life  and how it has made your life better.

How To Heal After Divorce

April 18, 2013 in Blog, Emotional Healing, Emotional Healing Training, Forgiveness

 

how to heal after divorce“I hate him and I’m over it!  Unfortunately, I still have to deal with this man because we share children.”

For many, divorce doesn’t make a difficult relationship any easier.

Putting your marriage relationship to death, doesn’t fix the pain, failure and frustration.

Long after the divorce papers are signed, you may carry the emotional scars of being deeply hurt and disappointed by the one you loved, trusted and made babies with.  Like death, with divorce there is a real sense of loss; an emptiness, failure and broken heart.

Three Steps to Heal After Divorce:

1) Let Go

Be willing to let go of what was: all the pain, blame, hurt, guilt, shame, failure and negative    emotions of hatred, anger and frustration. Be willing to let go of what you hoped for: a future of love with this man and your children.

2) Forgive

    Forgive yourself for your vow “till death do us part”
    Forgive him for his vow “till death do us part”
    Ask God to forgive you for your vow “till death do us part”
    Forgive yourself for believing divorce is an unforgivable sin.
    Forgive yourself for everything you may have done to cause this failure.
    Forgive yourself for not being able to hold the family together.
    Forgive yourself for believing your children will never get over the loss of their family.
    Forgive yourself for believing you have to hate him or suffer to justify the divorce.
    Forgive yourself for holding on to a family that doesn’t exist.
    (the family that healed and stayed together)
    Give your ex permission to forgive you for being unable to continue in this marriage.
    Give your ex permission to forgive you for being unable to meet his expectations.

3) Open Your Heart

Without all this hurt and failure, what is now possible for your life? Without this pain and failure, I am free to:

  •       love myself and my children more.
  •       attract more love into my life.
  •       be happier and more confident than I have ever been.
  •       trust love again.

EPTworks is an amazing tool that uses the power of love and forgiveness to allow you to heal after divorce faster than you ever thought possible.  If you are still carrying the pain of a failed marriage in your life; EPTworks can transform that hurt into positive energy that you can use to create more  love in your life right now.

Our EPTworks Guarantee:  If after one session of EPTworks, you do not think we can help you, there is no charge.

Book a private EPTworks session with a certified EPTworks practitioner today.

The Place Where Bad Habit Goes FOREVER and Good Habit Stays FOREVER by Sherry Hamilton

March 15, 2013 in Blog, Emotional Healing, Emotional Healing Training, Forgiveness, Health, Nutrition

 

by Jenn Ocken Photography

This week I had the pleasure, yes pleasure, to sit through a six hour lecture presented by Bill M. Kelley, Ph.D., from Dartmouth College.  I’ll spare you his titles, but the lecture was about the brain and habits.  How habits are formed, and why changing bad habits into good habits is hard for most people and near impossible for some people.  It really does require more than willpower, and knowing what is happening inside your gray matter can help ease the process.

Dr. Kelley showed that the brain is really good at short-cutting information to speed up your process to get something done.  We were given the simple task to see a word and tell what color the word was printed in.  The first word was “red” and it was printed in red.  Oh, so easy!  All 300 of us proclaimed “red.”  Then we had the word “blue” in blue.  We see the word and tell the color: “blue.”  Then with green we are forming a habit of seeing the word and telling its color.  After a couple of reds, blues and greens Dr. Kelley flashes a slide that is the word “green” printed in the color blue.  One third of the room proclaimed “green” the other two thirds were choking back the word and searching for the correct answer of “blue.”  That pause and need to stop and think about what I’m seeing and what information I’m supposed to be giving was a quick way to show that there is hesitation when something changes and upsets your habit.  The shortcut your brain set up for you didn’t work on every solution, and you paused to figure out your conflict and eventually come up with the solution.    When you want to change that habit, there is a pause. 

This pause is where you consciously have to stop and choose your action for the new outcome you are wanting. 

  1. Your Mind-Body is Smart and Efficient

Your mind-body sets up a habit and speeds up the processing like driving a race car on a super highway.  The more you do the same action, the more efficient you get at doing it.  You think you are driving that race car, but there is a chemical called dopamine who you gave the car keys to.  Dopamine is driving you to “do it again” and you are just along for the ride.  Sometimes you are blindfolded and gagged to represent your feeling of helplessness when you make choices and give into your bad or self-destructive habits.

  1. Your Mind-Body is Super-Duper Efficient

Not only does your mind-body set up your habits on familiar super highways, but your mind-body also keeps track of all the details leading up to your action, and sets them up as habits on super highways in your mind-body too!

  1. Key to Changing Out a Bad Habit for a Good Habit Requires Conscious Effort– Pause, Expend New Effort

Establishing a life-long good habit requires getting your body to agree it is a habit and to build for you a super highway bigger and better than the super highway you have up in your gray matter for your bad habit.  Really that’s all there is to it!  Being aware of what you are doing here is one of the keys to building a successful good habit super highway in your brain and body system.

  1. Make Your Choice More Attractive for Getting Your Greatest Reward:  Love

In EPTworks, making the good habit super highway bigger and better so the mind-body will choose it is based on attaching the positive emotional charge of true love to the new good habit. The Biblical truth that love is the greatest single power source we have access to is mankind’s greatest reward.  When my new good habit is rewarded with the best emotions and aspects of true love, then I will be drawn to choose that habit more often than my self-destructive habit. 

  1. EPTworks Therapy Makes the Bad Habit Super Highway Less Attractive Using:  Forgiveness

            Forgiving myself for believing what isn’t true about this bad habit makes it less attractive to me.

In letting go of a bad habit, there are usually reasons why we want to keep doing it.  EPTworks seeks out the long held beliefs that are giving value to your bad habit and making you want to “do it again”.  Using specific forgiveness for beliefs that aren’t true will neutralize the beliefs and allow the mind to resolve each conflict attached to the bad habit.  Using this therapy makes the bad habit super highway look even less attractive and easier to switch over to the new good habit super highway we are building bigger and better.

By guest blogger: Sherry Hamilton

 

 

Manifesting What You Really Want In Your Life (Part 4)

February 17, 2013 in Blog, Business, Emotional Healing, Emotional Healing Training

Once you have clearly defined exactly “where you are” and “where you want to be”, you can begin to take better actions to get you to your “new destination” in the fastest, most enjoyable way possible.  Remember, getting to “where you want to be” is about focus.  Nick Pfennigwerth tells his readers,

“Properly focusing your mind is the number one most important factor you can master when it comes to manifesting money or anything else that you can imagine.”

To drive from Indianapolis to Boston takes virtually the same skills as it will take you to drive from “where you are” to “where you want to be. You must:

  1. Take your focus off Indianapolis.  Take your focus/energy off “problems”, where you feel “stuck” or where you have been “stuck” in the past.  Shift your energy of focus away from your current “pain” or failure.  Give up the stories you keep telling yourself about why you can’t “have it” or “feel it”.  Change from, “This is what I have to do” to “This is what I get to do.”
  2. Focus on Boston. Focus on where you want to be as though you are already there.  You fet to “feel” it before it happens.  You get to manifest the new awesome feelings before you get to where you want to be.
  3. Take action. You decide to take new action to get to “where you want to be”.  That action eventually crosses you over the gap between “where you are” and “where you want to be.

EPTworks is an amazing tool that quickly identifies and releases the emotional scarring that holds your internal focus in the past and keeps you circling around “Indianapolis”.

 

Help! I Don’t Have Enough!!

February 9, 2013 in Blog, Emotional Healing, Emotional Healing Training, Forgiveness

EPTworks New Orleans Charity Dinner

Healing and abundance is a natural function that occurs when we are connected to our divine source, God.  All that is required is aligning ourselves with God and activating our intention.

How do we get disconnected?

When we allow our ego to determine our life path, we experience ourselves as disconnected.  Our egos have a tendency to idolize or place importance on things that are truly irrelevant to the truth of who we are.  By idolizing things, we misidentify ourselves and become separated from our divine, infinite, eternal source.  There are six primary ways our ego idolizes.

  1. What I have is the source of who I am/my power/my value.  My possessions define me.
  2. What I do is the source of who I am/my power/my value.  My achievements define me.
  3. What others think of me is the source of who I am/my power/my value.  My reputation defines me.
  4. My body is the source of who I am/my power/my value.  My body defines me.
  5. All that is missing from my life is the source of who I am/my power/my value.  My life space is disconnected from my desires.
  6. Pouring energy into all of the above is the source for who I am/my power/my value.  I am separate from God

An idol is a construct or focus that we pour energy into because we believe it is a source for what we desire; identity, power, love, money, peace, relationships, etc.

If I have an attractive body. . . . .                   If I know more. . . . .

If I have more money. . . . .                            If I could be more spiritual. . .

If I had a great family. . . .                              If I am popular. . .

If I was American. . . . .                                  If I was perfect. . . .

If I could do more. . . .

Chronic problems/stress such as chronic money problems, chronic dieting, chronic relationship distress, depression,  and chronic physical problems are most likely a form of idolatry.

All your energy and power is poured into this “problem” that never seems to resolve.  It is like a huge tornado that just spins all your excess effort and energy around in a circle, never really moving forward or changing.

Example:  Recently, I realized that I used money obsession: how to handle money better, how to make more money, how to get out of debt, if only my husband could make more money, worry about money, fear about money, too much energy about money, etc., as a source to take away my sadness about my father never wanting to give me anything or give my mother anything.  If I felt that sadness, I would be more likely to go shopping.  “It doesn’t matter if my dad doesn’t give me money; I can buy it myself and then I won’t care.”  I had developed the same kind of relationship with my husband.  I was idolizing money as the source to heal all this sadness.  Rather than feel and accept the sadness and hurt and fear that no man would ever want to support me; I poured all my excess energy into “money and money problems”.  My belief was that somehow more money would be the source to heal the real problem.  When I realized that only God can heal and that He is my source and that money problems and money have no power to make this pain feel better or cease to exist, I no longer needed to pour my energy into a useless tornado to feel powerful.  Tearing down this idol in my life, reunited me with God and I realized that I was not separate from the real source of love, power and money.

Example:  A woman with twenty years of marital instability and the past two years spent in marriage counseling discovered that she and her husband were pouring all their energy into constant marriage discussion that never seemed to move them forward.  It was a distraction to avoid the depression her mom felt when she was two and her mom knew her marriage was over.  Jill’s fear that her marriage was over and she made it worse, kept her pouring her energy into saving it, discussing it, being responsible for it, etc.  She had to acknowledge that all the marriage obsessing in the world would not have the power to get back what she really wanted: her original family, happy and together.  She had to accept the fear and depression that she may never get what she really wants in her family.  She had to accept that what she has or does not have does not separate her from happiness, love and power.   She idolized her family as the source for happiness, love, and security.  Without it, she felt helpless and separated from all that she desires.  When we tore down that idol, she immediately felt more at peace and connected.  She no longer felt drawn into the endless worry and discussions about the marriage.

Forgiveness Statements

  • I forgive myself for idolizing money as my source for all that I desire.
  • I forgive myself for idolizing what I have (family) as the source for my happiness and fulfillment.
  • I forgive myself for using this idolatry of money as a way to feel better about the sadness I felt as a child.
  • I forgive myself for using this idolatry of family as a source to heal the depression and fear I feel that I will never get what I really want in my relationships.
  • I give myself permission to tear down the idol and I am no longer separate from all that I desire.
  • Without this idol, I am free to experience joy and love in my relationships.
  • Without this idol, I am free to experience happiness and security and support from the divine source.
  • Without this idol, I am free to stop pouring excess energy into an empty tornado of futile discussion and thoughts.
  • Without this idol, I am no longer separate from God.
  • Without this idol, I am connected to my divine Source.

 

The Secret To Unlimited Abundance

February 7, 2013 in Blog, Emotional Healing

The secret to unlimited abundance is giving, not just giving to get, but really opening up and giving from your heart.

EPT Works™ - Business Works #1 and LifeWorks  © Jenn OckenIf you are inspired to give more from your heart, I would love to invite you to join EPTworks in an amazing GIVING opportunity.  We are hosting The Love Always Wins Inspirational Dinner honoring the women of Coburn Place Safe Haven in Indianapolis on Monday, February 18th at 5-8pm. We invite you to volunteer to serve the women and children of Coburn Place for an evening of Love and Inspiration.

Coburn Place Safe Haven provides women who have suffered from domestic violence and their children a chance to start anew, to finally accomplish a dream that an abusive partner and circumstances prevented.

In addition, I am offering my EPTworks class series (beginner, intermediate and advanced) at no charge to residents and counselors of Coburn Place.  Classes will be taught at Coburn Place on 12 (mostly) consecutive Mondays (4-7:30pm) beginning in March and continuing into June. Each class will covered over a period of 4 Mondays.  I am inviting previous EPTworks students to participate in these classes at no charge.  In place of the usual fee, I only ask that you fully commit to each of the four sessions that make up either a beginner, intermediate or advanced class.  You are welcome to take any or all of these classes in exchange for your full commitment to be there for the women of Coburn Place who will be learning this information for the first time.

After twelve weeks of weekly EPTworks training and practice, your level of expertise and confidence helping others with EPTworks will explode!!!  Call my office to reserve your space in this amazing giving opportunity!!

We all know it is better to give than to receive; what we may not really understand is why this is the case.  It’s simple, really–the more you give of yourself, the more you will receive.  By releasing energy, you open a space that must be filled.  When you give freely and unconditionally, success and abundance will be your reward.

There is a universal law of giving and receiving.  This law is as sure as the law of gravity.  Like the law of gravity, the law of giving and receiving can be observed as a natural force within the universe.  When you give of your time, energy and resources with no strings attached, you instantaneously set the law of giving and receiving in motion.  You become a magnet, attracting success and abundance.

Marenda Taylor writes about The Law of Giving and Receiving, and  much of this information comes from her.

There are both scientific and spiritual bases for this universal law of giving and receiving.

The Spiritual Basis:

Whatever you sow, you will also reap. -Galatians 6:7
If you do not sow, you will not reap.  How can you receive anything, if you never give anything?

The Scientific Basis:

For every action, there will always be an equal or even opposite reaction–Isaac Newton’s Law of Motion.
If you do nothing, nothing will happen.  You must take action for something to occur.

Reasons People Resist Giving:

Many are afraid to give because they feel they will not have enough left for themselves.  For most this comes from limiting beliefs about abundance and scarcity.

The person who is afraid to give, will never gain or grow , but will always remain stagnate, keeping only what they already have and never realizing more.

Others will give just a little, feeling a sense of scarcity–but those who give only a little will get only a little in return.

Some people understand the basic principle of giving and receiving and simply give to get.  This is a perversion of the law of giving and receiving.

Those with selfish motives will learn the hard way that intentions matter with regard to the law of giving and receiving; it is as immutable as are other natural laws.

Start giving from the heart.  By incorporating the law of giving and receiving into your life, you will find that you can indeed give of yourself without having to worry about scarcity.  This is nothing short of a spiritual experience.  You will begin to feel a kinship with the world around you.  This will enable you to truly love others as you love yourself.

Giving produces spiritual and personal growth.  When you give unconditionally you build faith in yourself, in others and the entire world.  The more you give, the more you will experience joy, love, inner peace and prosperity.

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AA02Articles_ReadyforChange

First you have to know what you want and get committed to your dream.

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Next, cultivate the exact state of mind and body that matches your dream, before it actually happens …

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AA02Articles_Manifesting

Now comes the art of manifesting.  It’s an amazing journey with clear concise steps to your dream.

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